I am tired of being awakened in the spring every year at 5:30 a.m. on Saturday morning by the sound of a jackhammer in my bedroom.

We have a fireplace in the bedroom, and guess what is on the top of the metal chimney cap every morning at 5:30 a.m.?

Woodpecker (Melanerpes uropygialis)
In English that means "the annoying one."

DESCRIPTION: L=9.25". Woodpeckers may make a sound that sounds like a rubber ducky. Woodpeckers and Gilded Flickers will tap loudly on metal objects as a territorial "call".
NATURAL HISTORY: Woodpeckers are one of the primary excavators of cavities in saguaros. They also are one of the primary dispersers of saguaro seeds (along with House Finches and White-winged Doves). Saguaro cavities excavated by Woodpeckers usually do not cause serious damage to the saguaro because they do not peck through the internal ribs of the saguaro. Woodpecker cavities in saguaros, in addition to being used by the woodpeckers to raise their young, are used by many other animal species (e.g., other birds, bats, and arthropods) for nesting/roosting.

As mentioned earlier, Woodpeckers feed on saguaro fruits, but their diet is quite varied, including insects, other cactus fruits, and even mistletoe berries. They even frequent hummingbird feeders and will steal dog food.

I'm tired of the nuisance that these things are. So, let me introduce you to the PECKER WHACKER

Remotely controlled from the night stand next to my bed!

I should patent this thing.

Driven by a 1/2 Hp motor at 1300 rpm, the 10-pound blade will knock that nuisance
over to your neighbor's house. (Or at least the parts that aren't stuck to the blade).

Won't know what hit 'em.

Can be made from common parts laying around the workshop.